O’s Commentary: October 2016

O. Morris - O's CommentaryA Man Wants What?

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife, so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said the man needed to build self-esteem, so he gave the man a book on assertiveness, which the desperate fellow started reading and finished by the time he got home. With book in hand, the man stormed into the house and walked directly to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said firmly, “From now on, I want you to know that I’m the man of this house and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished, I expect a scrumptious dessert. Then after dinner you’re going to draw me a hot bath so I can relax. Then when I’m finished with my bath, guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair.”

“The funeral director,” his wife said.

Joke, yes! But it makes one wonder is this really what men want from women? Come on. Seriously. Isn’t this what babies want from their mothers?

If this isn’t what they want, then what exactly is it that they DO want? What makes them happy and satisfied in a relationship with a woman?

Women often say men confuse them. Stereotypes about men suggest they’re unthinking, knuckle-dragging oafs who mostly think about sports. Granted, I’m not a man, but I’m sure men are as thrilled with that description as a hostess who gets a can of roach spray as a housewarming gift.

While I will admit there is some truth to their obsession with physical love and physical competition, in my personal experience they’re much more layered than that.

“So what do they want from me?” you might be screaming. Well, to that I say, relax. Contrary to what you might have heard, men don’t wish to be bottle-fed and burped.

It seems the modern man is struggling to find his place in the world. He has started to evolve and is starting to grasp the fact that the man’s role in a relationship may not be what it once was, but this doesn’t essentially change what men are looking for.

Trying not to be too general because every man is different, I do think there are certain things about a woman that will make any man stand up, take notice and make him decide he wants to know you on a deeper level. Now keep in mind I’m talking about a real man, one who is mature and grounded on an emotional level. Not one a woman would eat her young to get rid of.

What do men want from women? Wonder what I think? Ready? Here goes:

– Give respect. Aretha Franklin made this clear in the 1960s, and it still rings true today. Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected. They thrive when they know their women trust, admire, listen to and believe in them.

– Exhibit femininity. Men love women who are soft and kind and have a good sense of humor. Men don’t like angry women. Uptight, mean and abrasive is never attractive.

– Stay pretty. No, I’m not saying a woman has to stay the same weight she was when she met her man, but a man does want a woman who takes pride in her appearance.

– Talk less. Yes, ladies, I said it. You’ve got to save the chitchat for your girlfriends. Men just can’t take a whole lot of talking, especially after a hard day’s work.

– Be trustworthy. A man wants someone he can have faith in.

– Be playful. Be his road dog, his shotgun. Men are raised to express themselves through action. Now, that doesn’t mean they want you to act like one of their drinking or golf buddies. While every women in the world belches, passes gas and has the right to drink pints of beer, these actions aren’t seen as attractive to the opposite sex.

– Have goals. Men love a challenging woman who has her own interesting life to bring to the table. So keep your girlfriends, keep your hobbies, keep your job and keep your life. The relationship can’t be all about him.

– Give him space. Understand that a man needs private time to unwind, to engage in sports and to spend time with other men. Encourage that. Don’t run out to take golf lessons so you can join him on the links. Trust me, your presence won’t be all that welcome.

– Know that men say “I love you” without actually saying the words. They say it with actions.

This is just my opinion. All in all, my point is love is complicated, and relationships are hard. If you have someone really good in your life, hold on to him. Men really want that!

Peace and love,