O’s Commentary – September 2017

O. Morris - O's Commentary— O. Morris • o.morris@rolesvillebuzz.com • September 2017

Sometimes Life Savers Isn’t Just Candy

Dear O,

My 82-year-old mother recently moved in with us, and she is always commenting on what I wear. We were just at a Fourth of July party, and I wore my white Bermuda shorts, white silk blouse and white heels. Once my mother spotted me in the hallway, she immediately went upstairs and changed into the exact same thing. I just couldn’t believe it! When I saw her, I was very uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to make a scene, so I went to the picnic anyway.

When I tell you that everyone noticed and commented, I’m not exaggerating. That started us on a long journey of her wearing the exact same thing I wear to every single event I take her to. It’s like she has gone into my closet and ordered everything in it online.

Listen, O, I love my mother, but how do I get her to stop dressing like me?

Twin Peaks

 

Dear Twin,

I’m sorry, but in my opinion, this is just the cutest thing ever. Forgive me, but I don’t think you’re seeing the big picture: Your mother isn’t lying down and waiting to die; she is living!

Beloved, you need to let her. Let me ask you, who is she actually hurting? Has anyone said anything negative to you? Has anyone even mentioned it in a bad way? You didn’t say anyone had, so I’m relatively sure that is not the case. On the contrary, I bet they thought it was as adorable as I do. Plus, has it ever dawned on you that maybe she just wants to fit in?

The bottom line is you’re very blessed. Try to see this for the sweetness that it is.

 

Dear O,

My husband and I have a group of friends we love to go out to dinner with, but one of the couples over-orders every single time, and I do mean over-orders. They order their meal, then they order more meals, followed by dessert, and then they take what they can’t eat all home in a doggie bag. At the end of the evening, the couples split the check. I swear it feels like we’re feeding them for the entire weekend.

It’s embarrassing to say something because it’s a group of people. Now, I will admit somebody might have an extra drink or an extra appetizer, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, it doesn’t come remotely close to the amount this particular couple orders.

We don’t mind paying our share, and none of the other people have actually said anything. But I’m not sure how much longer I can stand this feeling of being taken advantage of. What can I do?

Spending at the Heritage

 

Dear Spending,

One thing’s sure: This whole situation could end up in a lot of hurt feelings. Rather than risk that, I will say this: Sounds like a matter for the men. Yes! I said let the guys handle it. Just speak to your husband.

Now brace yourself, and be prepared for nothing to happen. But maybe you’ll feel better that the issue has been addressed and be able to still enjoy an evening out with your friends.

 

Dear O,

My only daughter is getting married, and it has been a long time coming. In that I mean the decisions and misunderstandings seem to be endless. Last weekend, we got into a heated argument over whether or not to have Life Savers at the reception dinner candy station.

OK, I’ll admit that I’m a bit of a control freak, but I just can’t seem to help myself. My husband and I are paying for a good portion of this whole ceremony, so I think I should have some say.

How can I address any opinion that I have without causing drama? Does the word Bridezilla come to mind?

Candy Station Blues

 

Dear Candy Station,

No, I don’t see a Bridezilla. I honestly think the only way to play this is to let your daughter have whatever she wants within the confines of your budget. It doesn’t matter what you want because this whole ceremony isn’t about you at all.

As a parent, it’s easy to get caught up in doing things our own way, especially where dollars are concerned, but you haven’t said her decisions are going over and beyond the budget. You just appear to want some of the wedding decisions to be yours, and that truly isn’t what you should be focused on.

The bigger picture is her happiness. She’s the one getting married, and it is her day. Control your feelings, and you will be happier in the end.

Congratulations! Your baby is getting married!

Do you have a problem? Would you like some advice? Write to me at O.Morris@rolesvillebuzz.com, and I will do my very best to help.

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