As I sit and think about how fast the year is going by, one thought can’t be ignored this month. Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 11, 2014. Yes, it happens every year in May but this year is different for me. It’s the first Mother’s Day since I lost my mother.
There are many firsts in life that we remember and perhaps cherish. The first time we rode our bike without training wheels. The first time we got to drive alone after receiving our driver’s license. Maybe your first job, if you enjoyed it. Or your first girlfriend or boyfriend.
Then there are the moments that it will be the first time and it’s extremely hard. Like being without one of your parents for the first year of events, holidays, promotions and all of the positives that would make them proud.
For my family and me, it was August 21, 2013, when Mom passed away. A day that you never forget, but at the same time you wished you never had to go through. We all know that we can’t live forever, but that does not lighten the load.
Mothers and fathers have significant roles in our lives. They should be our real heroes. The ones that we want to be most proud of us when we have achievements in life. And the ones we want to be by our side when the moments are not so bright. But they also have different roles.
Mom was always the most nourishing while Dad was the one that was the most firm and direct. When you needed a Band-Aid and hug, you went to see Mom, while Dad was the go-to for the let’s build something. And the “occasional” few bucks when I was a little short on cash.
I was sick for 11 days in January of this year and did not leave my house. That’s when you really miss Mom. She was always capable of reducing the fever, even over the phone.
Mom did not leave my siblings or me without a full dose of herself. Often as I cook, bake and prepare meals, it is with the knowledge, or recipe, I received from her.
Weekly, and sometimes daily, I hear from one of my brothers or sister who is just checking in, as Mom did often. We are blessed that we all live locally. We all have individual lives and responsibilities but take the time to stay connected. Often, that’s a lost art in today’s fast-paced world.
Living in close proximity to each other also allowed us to easily rotate hosting events and holidays. Mother’s Day was one that I chose, so that makes this year even more challenging. Each mother attending received a traditional lily to plant, with my mother’s personally hand-delivered with enthusiasm. More importantly, we knew our parents were happy to have all of us together in the same house, as we were when we were kids. The exception being that they now enjoyed being waited on.
As I encounter families while out and about today, some have very similar values as we do and others not so much. There are times in our lives that we spend challenging our mothers and being reminded of that later in life. Some of those days you look back on and say, if I could do it over I would cherish the moment so I can remember the times. I find myself today talking to the mother of some of my friends in a way that I talked to mine. A day does not pass without the thoughts of what Mom meant to me.
This Mother’s Day will be a day of remembrance for me. One that I’ll be sure to plant an honorary lily. One that I’ll be sure to create a dish using one of those recipes. A day to be more than thankful for the times we shared and appreciative for the way she cared. And more than ever, know that she continues to watch over me.
Whatever way we choose to celebrate the day, there’s one thing to remember: there is no one like Mom. And with that I simply say, with love, Happy Mother’s Day Carolyn Bobbitt.